lindsay lohans face throughout the years
don’t do drugs, kids.
it is what it is …
… and what it is, is time to go … i mean the only reason i came to this state was to get away from someone and i had no place else to go. such is not the case now though. no matter where i’m at, i truly cannot get away from him. even when i have a grip on my thoughts, mother nature and conditions beyond my control intervene, and there he his … right back on my mind. so it doesn’t matter if we are 1000 miles apart or 100 miles apart … he sometimes wins …
… but this is the main reason why i don’t want to be here … yesterday … i was obviously having a bad day. i showed up to work with puffy red eyes, and a frown to end all frowns. i went home early from work because of emotions and circumstances that i have no control over consumed me. no one called to see how i was … but friends, 1466 miles away, who had no news or idea of my day, called because they sensed something was wrong. and thats how you know you have true friends.
i don’t feel alone here because i’m not dating anyone. i feel alone here because i cannot determine who is real and who isn’t … and it sucks. i understand that people are busy, and have various things going on in their life, but when i see a friend having a shitty day, i muster 15 or 20 minutes to call or stop by and make sure they are okay. i thought that’s what friends were for … for fucks sake.
so perhaps it is time to go back to the sunshine … who’s really going to notice anyways.
thethingswedojusttostayalive:wason-jillomz:
La Dispute // You and I in Unison
But the truth is, you were never there. You won’t ever be.
Sometimes I think I’m not either so what do I do
When every day still seems to start and end with you?
And you won’t ever know, you won’t ever see,
How much your ghost since then has been defining me.
And I was told about this torture, that it was the Hell of carnal sins when reasons give way to desire.
Except a living man. there is nothing more wonderful than a book! a message to us from the dead—from human souls we never saw, who lived, perhaps, thousands of miles away. And yet these, in those little sheets of paper, speak to us, arouse us, terrify us, teach us, comfort us, open their hearts to us as brothers.
… its true.
I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
letting go …
… honestly, i never thought it would happen. i thought that my life would be tormented forever by your memories, your face, your smell … but such is not the case. it’s not that i don’t think about you from time to time, but i don’t allow myself to obsess about you anymore. good or bad. i control my thoughts … not you! it took some time … and most importantly wanting to control my thoughts … to get rid of you … but i succeeded.
it feels so good to not care. i know you were a huge part of my life, but that part of my life is over. that caterpillar emerged from the cocoon … a beautiful butterfly now with hope and dreams of a better relationship, life, and more happiness than you could have ever given me.
i feel foolish for thanking you for ruining my life at one point, what i really meant to say is “thank you for giving me my life back.”
Tick … i forgive you for hurting me. and thank you for leaving.
-Bart
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