untitled #97
just like everything else in life, you tumblr, have been neglected. i’m running on fumes. so i called in sick today. to be perfectly honest, i could have attempted it, but i figured a fever in the morning could sure sneak up upon me in the evening. i don’t give myself time. attention. i feed myself junk. live off of coffee and monsters. could be worse i suppose, i mean i used to live off of whiskey and coke … both technical terms for that word. i grew up too fast … and not in the responsible way, so here i am at thirty one years old struggling. lonely. from the outside and the masquerade i put on, i look fine. but i’m not. not even a little bit. i have no clue what i want to do in life. well maybe a minor clue. i have no idea where i want to live. i only know who i am. and that i want to be happy. trying to achieve that is an unknown reality. my brain is rambling, much like this paragraph and it never stops. the medicine doesn’t help and randomly a friend calls to check on me and momentarily that helps too.
he called me today. dick bag. i really should enforce the no contact order and send his sorry ass to jail … each and every fucking time i hear his voice, i literally think i could stab him in the jugular. i don’t understand how he cannot get a fucking hint. he say’s he just wants to know that i’m okay, which i would never lead on that i’m not, but he lost that right when he cheated. perhaps he is the reason my brain is racing away tonight as well. pretty pathetic though that i sit here alone on a friday night talking to my tumblr page. Geez Louise has my life become one big lame ass shit ball.
fucking cat wont quit meowing or grooming itself which is highly distracting, so good night tumblr. i will try not to neglect you again.
